Explore my passion projects and work as a life coach and learning designer at this link. (Site is down for updates, check back soon.)

My Book in a Blog is the real and raw of my life experiences. From adoption to moving to Jamaica, this blog is jam-packed with various topics, like an unimaginable dichotomy.

Note: This post is the revised and renamed version of My Story: Part 2

I called this Part 2 for two reasons: 1. Being a step-family made up 17 years of my life and; 2. It was an ever-present area of conflict (purposeful smile). Most of the conflict we experienced in the marriage was the negative kind, that was left unresolved but there was also the stretching-of-the-soul kind of conflict that doesn’t exactly feel positive either.

Setting the stage for what feels like an insurmountable struggle up a steep cliff, I can remember still having hope. I may not have been able to say this in the moment and it pains me to know I am far from the top at being a good listener and communicator, or peacemaker, or gracious and kind, but I am still climbing. Not so much climbing the step-family ladder as that no longer exists because my children are all adults now.

Looking back now, as we know that hindsight provides a clear picture, I cannot think of anything I would do differently, aside from not marrying a narcissist again. (there will be many more parts of my story that elaborate on the months leading to the divorce and how I believe I arrived at the very difficult decision to end a commitment that I had fought so hard for! I felt like I was giving up.)

Celebrating Michal’s 18th birthday. August 2020. Cheesecake Factory, Jacksonville, Florida

As a step-family, in my experience, most of the struggle came from the conflict over feeling that my stepchildren were intruders to my traditional family within our “new” blended family.

A few simple things that helped me from falling off the cliff, perhaps you may find one helpful:

  1. Remembering we are not each other’s enemies – we each have feelings, viewpoints, and experiences. I’ve had many arguments with myself regarding this because everyone feels like the enemy quite frankly.
  2. Being honest. Somewhere along the way, I decided that most often it was safer to not be honest (of course there is something to be said here). Despite what I think the response will be as a result of my honesty, I do well to be real and honest. I am the only one that can share what I am thinking or how I view what is happening to me or around me.
  3. Although to balance honesty, there are times to be quiet. I always think of when God told Mary that she would give birth to the Messiah, we are told that she held all these things in her heart and pondered them! Along with several other verses in the Bible that speak about the right timing of oour words.

2 responses to “Adoption & Step-Families”

  1. Alice Avatar

    beautifully written Michelle. Its hard to write about these things but its part of the healing process. You have grown into such a wonderful woman and mother. I see your pictures of your family you post and see what a wonderful life you have now, what a wonderful example you set for your children. I hope one day you do get to sit and talk with your daughter and she can see what a good, kind, warm, caring person you are. Keep on writing!


    1. The Harried Hamptons Avatar

      Thank you my Aunt always! I do love these little people and enjoy watching them grow! Love you!


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