If alliterations, run-on sentences and rabbit trails bother you then you probably will not enjoy my writing style, which I would describe as witty, harsh, and full of rhymes, reason, and remembering wrought with tears. See… in revamping my blog to fit as a closer expression of me, I am excited because I see how it will weave into the future I am creating. This post was started a few years post divorce.
Today, it has been almost five years since the physical separation of my family unit as I knew it for 17 years. In this time, of course, like most post-divorce stories, you hear statements like, “I have learned so much about myself;” and while there is nothing wrong with that, I can actually say that I have learned so much by being alone and as a result learn some things about myself. I am sure in some ways those two statements might be the same but somehow they seem different. I guess I don’t like the implication that you have to get divorced to know yourself.
In my Adventures with Sophie (as it were), inspiration would come during our walks on the beach, it was weird! These times helped me to align with the present. The kicker and the operative word being “present.” In scriptural terms this would be aligning yourself with the Spirit of God for life direction. The Spirit of God, if you believe, indwells in your soul and mind, according to the Greek (if my Biblical studies served me well), and directs your decisions, feelings, and thoughts and as a result, your actions or behaviors.
In deciding to return to grad school, and after leaving the initial Education program in Learning Analytics, I decided to pursue a masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. But since I started this post over two years ago, I will tell you that I have since completed a master’s degree in Education, where I originally started. I love to teach and inspire. After failing the counseling practicum, I decided to become a certified coach. (You can find the gory details of failing the practicum in this post.) My focus on counseling women and children using different therapies, but mostly through nature and dogs still remains very much a passion that will eventually be explored.
More to come on all this because this post is about my season of reflection not professional careers. I am so excited and scared all at the same time. I know something beautiful is waiting for me in my future because I can feel it and I cling to it and cannot wait to see it all! (Remember I wrote this over two years ago and here I sit going through all 43 blog post drafts and this one speaks to me today!) I think this post is special to finish today because the future that I saw then is happening now. While there has been laughter and pain in the in-between, I know I am experiencing the beautiful future I felt and clung to! This is not without the pain along the way. Being on the other side of the painful times is refreshing and yet I know that pain still awaits and exists. I do not mean the pain I create as a result of stupid choices, and I have made plenty of those. I mean the pain that comes from persistence and perseverance. I look forward to sharing my journey complete with pain and beauty.
As such, life has changed drastically, and my adventures with Sophie remain a very close and intimate memory! These memories woo me back to the safe places I created after the divorce. These are familiar, familiar is comfortable. Sometimes we have to move from that familiar and create a new familiar. But remember: “wherever you go there you are!”
For women who are going through a divorce or painful place, find your safe spaces. Find your places of peace. Use nature, nature heals without even asking. Consider adopting a dog! They are great partners in crime to learn about yourself without feeling so alone. You can tell them anything and they do not judge!
Living now in Jamaica, I am creating new memories with the dog we have adopted (Andrew – in the picture above) and those we will foster along the way (Odie – our first foster is tolerating Andrew sitting on her). I am creating memories with Ricardo, whom I will soon marry, and for which I am thrilled and humbled that someone so amazing would love me! I am planning memories with my children, whom I am so proud of! And I am still reflecting on my past while I am planning my future just in a different space, or country.
I am still very excited as the reflection and healing continue. As for Sophie, do not worry, I have the most amazing mother who has now adopted, fostered, and loved my second dog. The first dog affectionately known as Bagel the Beagle, whom you may have read about in the blog, went to Nana and Papa when I could only have one well-behaved dog in the apartment I was living in. And now my girl, Sophie, until further notice, is hanging with Nana and Papa, the dog whisperers! I am grateful for them opening their home to my two amazing dogs! Without this opportunity for Sophie, though, I am not sure I could make the decision to move anywhere without her, it is still very hard this way, nonetheless!
What say you?