Motherhood is a bit different than “being a mother.” I love being a mother. This is my one regret in life, my words and actions not lining up with my love of being a mother. Being a mother is my most prized act on this earth! It is the legacy that I leave behind. I gave birth to five humans; I hope that each will make their mark on this world but also leave a legacy to which they also can say, “This is my most prized act…on this earth…”

I am very proud of each of my children, even the one I did not raise (though we have reunited, and I look forward to sharing that part of my story, stay tuned), and even my youngest daughter who currently denies my motherhood and dishonors me and my name by her choices and her words.

Words are powerful.

I know we have heard that before, whether in consideration of what scripture has to say on the power of the tongue or whether we realize how painful words are because they too have been used as weapons against you, we all know the power of words.  

Motherhood was fun to me.

I can remember telling the children they got on my nerves! I can remember telling them that I cannot wait until they are adults, I remember all the gory details of motherhood, and yet I have no qualms and would not trade it for anything including my dream job in the FBI; I do not regret choosing motherhood over a career.

Yet somehow, I still feel the need to make sure that I have done all I can to ensure the healthiest transition into adulthood despite the broken family units they were mothered in. For my two eldest, their transition was long ago. The last three, however, are still in transition. This is being a mother, which is different than motherhood. I was very particular about making sure they each understood the things I care about. In the transition into adulthood, one example that comes to mind is the decision of whether to go to college or not. Or to get married before sex? I am sure you get the idea, it was important to me that I did not impose my beliefs or viewpoints. I prefer that each child choose how it looks for each, albeit differently, and fulfill their life’s work on earth how they see fit within the bounds of decency and kindness.

I am a firm believer that mothering has some general principles, God-given indeed, but overall, each child should be raised according to their bent – this changes the mothering game for sure.  

Being a mother is much like that of a coach, I would say that my days of mothering little people taught me how to be a coach that listens and leaves space for one to work out what is already within them. As a mother, I held to this, believing that each of them had within all that they needed for life…and godliness. I appreciate that verse in the Bible because it shows the ways that God is intimately acquainted with and does care about the simple things of life.  

I have been watching Bridgerton and I appreciate in some ways, the old British way of creating a home. While many of those marriages and eventual families were made up through such business affairs and tied to tradition and culture rather than love, there were still those that did choose marriage for love. I realize this is only a show, and most likely does not exactly represent history, but I am sure there were those elite, royalty folks in society that did choose marriage for love, as Daphne Bridgerton did. I am struck by the way the women mothered their children in preparation for society and marriage. And then others did the same but did so with grace and kindness, resulting in a different mothering experience.

Being a mother is a gift. It is the joy of my life and the reason for most of my decisions. Being a mother started at 15 years of age for me and motherhood at 17 years of age!  While my season of motherhood has ended and though it has made up most of the years I have been alive, I will never regret driving them to school and picking them up every day, changing three sets of diapers for three years, or the challenges that came with their teenage years. Every daily mundane task that came with motherhood was not in vain and am grateful for each human I call my child. There are still some difficult places to overcome, and perhaps won’t be overcome in my lifetime; I am learning to be ok with that.