Explore my passion projects and work using as a life coach and learning designer at this link.

My Book in a Blog is the real and raw of my life experiences. From adoption to moving to Jamaica, this blog is jam-packed with various topics, like an unimaginable dichotomy.

Raising Boys to Be Men!

Written in


I dedicate this post to all the Mommies out there that have questioned where their sweet, gentle boy went when he turned 9? Others might be thinking their son is not gentle, sweet maybe, but not gentle.  The intent isn’t that my son isn’t sweet anymore or that the changes he is experiencing make him less lovable.  I just know at some point one switch turned off and another came on.

Messy bday boy

I am challenged to break free from the boy code and dive into the code of adventure, spontaneity and freedom. I want to say yes more often to eating lots of sugar, running around barefoot outside, and using the “expensive” tools to build something – you fill in the blank. I am ready to get rid of the fears, rigidity, and shame about how I love and raise my son.

A boy’s heart is never too old to bring back to life. As I watch, Xaviar become an adult, I can trace back through his life where he was challenged by an adult besides me. I am hopeful that he will continue to be challenged, and allow, perhaps any place in his heart where I ignorantly quenched his boyhood, in keeping with the “Boy Code”. I am also so very grateful for those around him that believe in him, and cheer him on.

5 responses to “Raising Boys to Be Men!”

  1. Lisa Avatar

    I read a really good book, “Raising a Modern Day Knight”. It is all about celebrating the milestones in a boys life. I designed a family crest and had a ceremony for my son’s 13th birthday. I presented it to him on a real knight’s sheild. I had all the men in his life come and speak words of wisdom to him. There are so many great ways to celebrate our boys to men. I love the qualities that make them the way they are and should be encouraged and celebrated.


  2. In-House Counsel Avatar

    Looking forward to reading more. I am interested in your topics and you seem to have a fresh perspective- not knee jerk one way or another. Thank you!


    1. The Harried Hamptons Avatar

      Hello and thank you! I was struck by your blog name ūüôā will check you out. And I appreciate your comment and am surprised at what I am putting on paper…humbly! I know I have a lot in the brain…but you know how that goes.


  3. […] I am learning about myself as I raise my girls. I’m continually amazed that though I am a girl there are many gaps in my understanding of girl hood.¬†Recently, I¬†realized¬†the¬†importance¬†of feeling heard. I recalled a book entitled¬†Captivating, by Stasi Eldridge. She shares the journey of little girls to women like the book I referenced in the last¬†post about raising boys to men. […]


  4. […] the post about boys¬†and the Boy Code.¬†Dr. Pollack, in his chapter entitled:¬†Schools: The Blackboard Jumble,¬†asks these questions of […]


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